Dua; ほしえてよ...

Friday, March 20, 2015

Recently these days, I've kept thinking about my future plans. No, not that kind of future plans--I meant, my future plans if I didn't pursue STAM. Like I said before, I am not ready to take a step to adulthood, or should I say -- becoming a collage student. If you look at me closely, you wouldn't imagine this puny child will survive in collage life 유 ㅁ 유. I'm telling you the truth because I'm not even confident myself. How should I even survive in collage life when I, myself, is not ready? Huh, wait, I think I keep twisting my words here and you might be confused. (I don't know what the hell I was talking about)

Shush, however, on second thought college life must be fun. Meeting new people and such. With new cultures all around you. . .yeah, it sounds more exciting when you don't experience it yet. On top of that, for studying, you must have to fight with yourself -- why? Well, I don't really know about that matter. I must say, collage life is a need to one struggle until one is succeed on achieving their goal. Much pressure than SPM student if I had to say. When SPM you thought about what do you want in the future, meanwhile in collage you thought about WHO ARE YOU IN THE FUTURE. SPM bukan penentu segalanya, and the diplomas and degrees cannot guarantee you to get a job yet.

If I had to make an example, lots of people around me are like that. Jobless, full of debts, etc. I'm not mocking, it's the reality.

I don't want to be like that, to be really honest. As far as my mind wanted to leave school early and pursue my study in university, but deep in my bottom heart is still wanted to stay as a high school student. But another part of me wanted to leave. See? I'm in pain right now at how confused and miserable I am. If it's not because of my current school condition, I won't make any decision to leave that place. Ugh. . . seriously, that school is getting worsen by years.

Hm, okay don't mind this shit. I don't know when will I stop ranting and complaining. Two more days and I'll be back to hostel. But there's a fact you should know:

I didn't bring any books home, to be honest. And next week, there'll be a monthly test.

Well, there goes my life...

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