Tiga Puluh Dua; Future Thoughts

Tuesday, November 01, 2016

I had thought of my future for quite some times, no, every time during the whole semesters. Since the very start, after graduating from diploma I will continue with my LLB degree like I already planned. Even thought it somewhat a little late, since some of my friends who did not take diploma mostly are pursuing in degree now, but studying is never too late for me regarding what your age is. I always had this dream that after finishing my degree, I will join a well-known legal firm and work there before applying to be lawyer. Or I just open up my own legal firm with a partner and get my own clients. Well, that is just how dream works. Some times it will just remain a dream forever and will never be fulfilled. And that is what gonna happen to me, perhaps. No, I don't meant to forget my dream or what but, regarding the condition our country been at this time around is forcing me to, what do we call, postponed it. I had to halt it for the time being.

From my last conversation with my older sister, she told me to postponed my decision to continue my degree and apply for the SPA8i. It's not that she was against my decision, but, considering the condition my family was in and the economy condition of our country is very unstable right now, she told me to re-think again about it. I do, sometimes I thought about not continuing my study and applied for a job, even working as a part-time teacher is not bad in my opinion. If it's a bit help for my family, then it's okay enough. And sometimes, my alter ego and selfish self wanted to further my study no matter what condition we had, and that selfish thought brought me depression. I always had a talk with my older sister on the phone when it's coming to my future after graduating diploma. She always had this 'wise words' and 'opinions' to share with me from her own experiences and sometimes she said, "You're still in diploma. Just, don't let yourself think about the future too much. You only have to focus on what you are doing now and after that, think as many as you wanted. You have plenty of time to create your own future. Allah knows what's best for you."

I had so many thoughts about the future that I cannot handle it in my head. But I think, I should just focus on my current situation. I still have two semesters left, including this semester, to finish the diploma program and yay graduation!

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